no-man’s land
i’m in a no-man’s land of sleep and awake. trying to get a handle on a rhythm, a system, where i don’t fall asleep for four hours in the middle of the afternoon, waking up when it’s dark, wondering what time it is, and, “where am I?”. i like to get up early, pre-dawn if possible. like you do when you’re camping in the woods, or on the coast, or in the mountains, dew covering the tent fabric, inside and out, and the grass with a silvery film, kicked green as your feet shuffle through the tangled blades, looking for a place to pee. the natural rhythm of light and dark, the body’s internal clock, instinct, making our eyes open, making our senses alert. the full day ahead, ready to be exercised. the first meal, my favorite: breakfast. coffee.
more often than not i’m up late, though not as late as it used to be. there used to be a time when i had to make an effort to be in bed by 4 a.m. that seemed to be the standard bedtime for musicians, as we were usually playing the closing gig, then load out and a late night meal. in that situation 10 a.m. is an early start, and most of the time it’s noon before one gets out of bed. on the road it’s easy to fall into bad habits, staying up late watching tv to wind down from a show, sleeping until it’s time to go, or the maid wakes you up, even though there is a “do not disturb” card hanging from the doorknob.
it makes the day harder when one doesn’t follow a regimen, too much time is wasted, and too many things go undone. the tasks i have before me everyday are simple: meditate, practice, make music, write, exercise, meditate. i keep calendars for each task and mark an “X” when i have completed one for that day. the hardest task is making music, though sometimes it’s not hard at all. it becomes difficult when i put too much emphasis on the quality of the work. that’s a creativity killer. repetition is more important than quality, in songwriting anyway.
i have a dentist’s appointment at 8:30 a.m. i wish i were asleep, but i’ve been here before, too many times. i’ll wake up, get some momentum, get things done, and pass out in the afternoon, repeating the cycle until it ends.
Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment
One Response to “no-man’s land”